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'Do you like the word "panties?"'
my friend asked me. 'Never really thought about
it,' I replied with a smirk. 'What about "nipple,"
do you think nipple sounds too rude, I mean, would
it turn you on?'
In the next few minutes of
our conversation, I was thrown headfirst (to
coin a phrase) into the brand new world of 'talking
dirty'. 'Apparently it's now regarded as an art
form,' my friend continued, 'we're catching up with
the rest of Europe, it's great fun and so sexy.
My boyfriend can't get enough. Honestly, you should
try it.' Gagging to learn more, I asked for all
the details, and sat absorbed by her every shocking
revelation.
I have since mastered the
art; I fear sometimes too well. It now appears that
a number of recent boyfriends would prefer to get
themselves 'off' while talking to me on the phone
all night, rather than actually getting their arses
round here where I can see them! Describing to someone
how you want to touch and taste them, listening
to them moan, making them feel wanted and
basically driving them wild, is nothing short of
addictive.
So, is 'talking dirty' just an assortment of
rude, unrefined words, with underlying sexual
innuendoes? Or, are you in fact creating a language
to not only stir the mind, but a dialect that
leaves every part of your body yearning and crying
out for more. Who knows, but if spontaneous premium-rate
phone calls to seedy chatlines is the image you
conjure up when you hear the term 'talking
dirty' think again.
It appears that nowadays we are managing to convey
our naughty thoughts in a number of formats, not
just vocal. An advertising campaign on the London
Underground would lead us to believe the entire
UK spends its waking hours sending naughty text
messages from their mobiles.
So whether you're attempting to spice up your love life or simply fancy a seductive
phone conversation with a stranger, I suggest there's no better therapy in the
world than to deepen your voice box, reduce your words to a
whisper and tell them exactly what your body is
telling
you.
Right, got to go, I have a few
phone calls to make, business of course.
— Susie Q 25.10.00 |
