But what's the motivation behind this attachment frenzy? Lack of personality masquerading as urban attitude? Aesthetic enhancement of the mush? Or just a new fashion kink that'll eventually return, unscathed, to its tribal roots?

In an attempt to establish an approximation of the truth, lifebyte steamed into Cold Steel, in North London, ears primed for the sound of popping flesh.

Who? Monique and Grant Where? South Africa Years? Both 24

Go on then, why? M – Well it gives you a distinctive look. G – Yeah, it's, like, really original.

Hang on, everybody else in here has got at least one facial piercing. Where's the originality in that?
[Silence]

Moving on [sweat breaking on lifebyte's brow...] Are you getting one done today? G – Yes. Where? G – My septum. What, the bit between the nostrils? G – That's right. That's going to hurt. Isn't it? G – Naah.

Is there a fetishist in the pair of you that only finds expression through piercing? G [Menacingly] – Don't be fucking stupid mate. M – Well, I suppose there's a bit of a rush with the initial pain and some people can get a real kick out of it but we just think it looks cool. But that's it.

Where else are you pierced, apart from on your face? Both – Tongue and belly button.

What are the people like at work about it? G – Well I work for a cable company and they're cool about it. I wouldn't work anywhere that had a problem with it anyway. M – I work in a bar and I'm not the only one who's pierced, so I fit right in there!

Have you got any skanky horror stories? M – No, but I did have a piercing in my eyebrow that was pushed out. Look, you can see the scar. Oh yeah. Did that hurt? No but it didn't look very nice in the last week when it was just hanging by a tiny bit of skin. Uuueeurrgghh.