Time to evaluate whether your reputation for being popular with the guys or the laydees has gone a bit too far. Answer the questions (honestly, now) and we'll do the rest

How many people have you slept with?

None, and you don't intend to until you're married
A couple but often you just keep it to below-the-waist fumblings
Oops! You've already lost count.

Where do you go on a first date?

A quick drink then back to his or her place
The back row of a cinema.
Church.

And what do you wear on a first date?

A smile.
A chastity belt.
Something that makes you look good but isn't too flashy.

What's your definition of oral sex?

A chat about why sex is a sacred act.
Talking dirty to each other.
You can't answer the question cos you've got your mouth full.

Do you believe your body is...?

OK in certain lights.
Bloody fantastic, which is why you show it off at any available opportunity.
A temple.

Describe your underwear...

Big, plain and from M&S.
Tight, white and from Calvin Klein.
What's underwear?

Which fluids do you exchange with a partner?

Alcohol and saliva.
Tea.
You can't answer the question cos you've got your mouth full.

Do you think you've already met The One?

The One? You've just about narrowed it down to 20 or so.
No, but you intend to play the field until he or she turns up.
No, but you're saving yourself until you do.

Now add up your score...

.